He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I have aggressive nipples.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
