I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
