Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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