No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I think your dad took our porno
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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