they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
