i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
