So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
