wrigley field is MILF paradise
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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