it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
