We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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