sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
