so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You did what with his pubic hair?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
