If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I cut my penus on the lid.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
