Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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