I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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