did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
