I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
