I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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