You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
