You just made me feel so damn special
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
