i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
