Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
did i just pee glitter
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
