Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
