He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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