They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Will you blow on my dice?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
