I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
