Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
