the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
