Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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