Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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