My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
