Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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