butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
