can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
