My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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