Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
