if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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