It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
