sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
