he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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