Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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