thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
