its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
