Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
