eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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