is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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