What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just found a bag of teeth...
Vodka?
Forever.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
