terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
