We're like a lot better than the average bears
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
