he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
