Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
