If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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